Esteemed The Hiking News Editors,
I recently encountered a situation in the outdoors that is an absolute disgrace. When I reached the summit of Horse Mountain at 9,952′ I was completely unable to get any kind of cell phone signal.
This is a serious safety concern because I was unable to go Facebook Live from the summit. I suffer from a debilitating condition known as millennial attention disorder (MAD), where a lack of online attention can lead to loss of self-worth, and, in severe cases, obliteration of identity without the affirmation of friends. I found myself in serious need of a comment on how kewl I was, and probably would have called for emergency search and rescue if I had been able to do so.
I don’t want my struggle to be about me, though. So I am asking you to please publish my letter to your millions of worldwide readers to raise awareness of this issue so no one else gets MAD.
Korey Povey
Hygiene, Colorado
The Hiking Times 