AT jogger not even trying for Fastest Known Time

HO-HO-KUS, NEW JERSEY — Theodora “Snail Sprinter” Petty is jogging her way from Georgia to Maine along the Appalachian Trail, and apparently she’s not even trying for a Fastest Known Time (FKT).  She’s been spotted taking side trails, stopping to make camp before dark, chatting with other hikers, enjoying a book, doing her own resupplies, and even pausing at scenic overlooks to take in the views.

“She’s so far off pace of the 41 day, 7 hour, and 39 minute FKT it’s not even funny,” says Guto “Time Lord” Montgomery, the keeper of the semi-official FKT record site  “I don’t see her even beating 52 days at the rate she’s going,” he said of the negligent trail runner.

“If everyone dawdled along like that, we wouldn’t have records and sponsorships,” said Ffion “Late” Rowe, whose bid at the FKT last year came up a day short.  “I have half a mind to meet her at the next road crossing with her resupply so she can get back to running before she makes such a huge mistake.”

Ms. Petty was bemused by the controversy surrounding her bid.  “I love to be outdoors.  I love to run.  This seems a natural fit for me.  Why would I want to compare my experience to anyone else’s?”

[FCC DISCLOSURE STATEMENT: Ms. Petty declined an offer of factory second insoles and four cans of Red Bull compliments of The Hiking Times.]

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