Wanna-be mountaineer reposts crowded Mt. Everest photo to assuage own failed ambitions

INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA – This afternoon, Lincoln Wagstaff took some time out of his conference call to post a picture of the crowded summit slope of Mount Everest to his 119 Twitter followers. His caption “Who’d be crazy enough to do this? If I wanted to wait in line I’d go to the DMV!!!” conveyed his disdain at the crowds. In the comments, he derogatorily highlighted the death toll taken by the extended exposure at high altitude, where atmospheric pressure can be about a third of that at sea level.

adult-businessman-concentration-374598What the assistant compliance manager for Western Imports, Inc. did not highlight is that his childhood dream was to climb the Seven Summits–the highest peak on each continent.  Mr. Wagstaff’s pattern of following the path of least resistance through high school and college led to an unredeeming job with no prospects for advancement, and no mountains in his future.  After posting the image, he reportedly felt the smug satisfaction of degrading those who followed their dreams to be utterly satisfying, citing the lack of risk to life and limb as validations for his poor life choices.

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