EAST WENATCHEE, WASHINGTON – Local nine-year-old Anderson Whittle is close to making medical history by having his legs spontaneously detach from the rest of his body. “Daaaaad, my legs are literally about to fall off!” he reported on mile 3.2 of his 4.1 mile hike. “If I take one more step, they’re going to come right off my body!” he stated.
Young Mr. Whittle is currently taking the precautionary measure of sitting beside the trail refusing to take another step. Dr. Grayson Worthington of Wenatchee Valley Medical Center reports that this course of action is a definite preventative against such an outcome, though he suggested that the youth’s prediction was largely unanticipated by the field of medical knowledge. “While overexertion injuries are well understood, the simultaneous failure of all connective tissue supporting the acetabulofemoral [hip] joint, detachment of the quadriceps muscle group, and separation of skin in the area has not, to my knowledge, been encountered previously.”
Despite this skepticism, perhaps Mr. Whittle’s caution is somewhat warranted. According to Dr. Worthington, “The potential for severance of the femoral artery, however, would categorize this as a severe and life-threatening condition needing immediate treatment.”