Uncle reports IMAX film adequate substitute for Grand Canyon visit

PEEVER, SOUTH DAKOTA — Winston Mahoney regaled his family with the story of his latest adventure, a trip to the Grand Canyon IMAX Theater to see the wonders of its all-enveloping six-story movie screen and 12,000 watts of soul-stirring digital surround sound.  “It’s an amazing place that fills your senses with the grandeur and majesty of America’s best idea, exportable pop culture and aggressively applied technology,” Mr. Mahoney told his awe-struck nieces and nephews.

“I don’t know why anyone would need to see a giant hole in the ground after checking out the movie,” Mr. Mahoney opined.  “You stand there for like 30 seconds in a crowd of people, and that’s all you ever see of it.  The movie flies you through the canyon and takes you down that water thing at the bottom, a way better view than you’d ever get and you don’t have to worry about taking extra water or being eaten by an anaconda or a feral burro giving you rabies or some stinky people living out of a pack on their back.”

It also makes financial sense, Mr. Mahoney says.  “Even better, I saved 25 bucks by not having to pay the park admission fee!”

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